And The Winner Will Be …

This Sunday it starts, and I know you know what I’m talking about.

Hollywood award season.

That gigantic colossal fake-o-rama from The Golden Globes to The Oscars that I just can seem to live without.  The dresses! The speeches!  The constant gossip!

One of the few girly-girl things I set my clock to are these ridiculous awards shows.  I hang time on them.  I leave Dostoyevsky and Proust and Melville on the shelf and scoot all the way to my living room for some badass TV.  It’s like a drug, it is.  This Sunday brings The Golden Globes — with Ricky Gervais as host — and believe you me I’ll have my spot on the couch nested out way early for every strut down the red carpet, the cerebral interviews with Joan Rivers, and no way in hell will I be in bed until the last award is handed out.  My husband (he knows me so well) will have cut the ballot out of the newspaper and, by noon, I’ll have made my picks.  In ink.

And speaking of awards, last week our Sherry bestowed upon me the this lovely plaque: The Versatile Blogger Award.  It requires I reveal 7 unknown things about myself, but all I can think about are the words in green.  How versatile am I, exactly?  This question has been chawing at me, no end, and sadly I’ve discovered I’m nothing if not not versatile.

So 7 things?  I don’t know.  But here’s one: I’m addicted to awards.  I never, never miss them.  I’ll be waiting for that perfect starlet to show up in the killer dress of the night, so I can wonder just what size of Zero that she is, who made the dress, how much it might cost, how many weeks she’s starved herself to fit into it, and how not-comfortable it might be when she’s sitting down or scurrying up (if she’s lucky!) to grab her big award.

In case you’re wondering, here are a few of my picks:

Best Motion Picture Drama:  The Descendants

Best Screenplay:  The Descendants

Best Actor in a Drama:  George Clooney  (for The Descendants)

Funny, I’m about to read THE DESCENDANTS.

See how versatile I am.

Will you be watching on Sunday?

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20 thoughts on “And The Winner Will Be …

  1. Sarah W

    Sunday?

    I’ll be watching the season finale of Leverage, and then I’ll go over to Genevieve Valentine’s site for her red carpet fashion analysis. And then back here to watch you gloat about picking winners!

    Congratulations on your award!

    1. Teri Post author

      I actually love the screenplay awards. Of course. I feel like the right writer will get it if I wish hard enough. Sometimes we remain our 10 yr old selves….

  2. amyg

    there is very little on television that i love as much as i love the oscars (and i love a lot of tv, bad tv, good tv, bland tv…i’ll watch 90210 reruns if its an episode that has an unforgettable line, “…Donna Martin graduates, Donna Martin graduates…”

    sometimes i have an oscar party even. just women. lots of food. i keep saying i’m going to do a red carpet party and make everyone where consignment store formal dresses and take loads of pictures.

    but, alas, this year’s oscars happen on the sunday right after AWP. not sure i’ll be up for entertaining after a weekend of entertainment.

    (i’m always most excited about the screenplay categories–original and adapted. when diablo cody won, i weeped.)

    1. Teri Post author

      An Oscar party is one of those things that sounds good in theory for me. But I know for certain I would be a terrible party guest. Me in my sweats, not talking, shushing everyone. I’d have to tape it and watch it when I got home!

  3. Lyra

    Two guys I was very close to (thinking of it, I miss them), used to throw the best Academy Awards party. It was formal, of course, and went on all night long until it essentially turned into a half-naked men rave, at which point I ducked out.
    They’d have a contest and whoever choose the most winners got some fantastic prize. Alas, how do you beat a roomful of gay men on that? You don’t. I never won, not once.

    1. Teri Post author

      My husband is usually kind enough to play the “pick the winners” game with me. He almost always wins. Hmmmm…

  4. macdougalstreetbaby

    I am such a loser. Not only did I not know what was happening on Sunday, I also haven’t heard of THE DESCENDANTS. Okay, fine, I know who Ricky Gervais is so maybe I’m not a complete numbscull but, yes, I agree, I’m terrifyingly close. He’s a funny man. I’m certain he’ll let some inappropriate remarks slip throughout the night.

    1. Teri Post author

      You’re lucky I don’t live next door, MSB. I would have you so corrupted — I’d have you over for coffee and the next thing you know I’d have you rapt in front of the TV, watching On Golden Pond. I swear I would.

  5. Downith

    I was with you Teri, until I moved here. It took about 5 years of mourning before I got over the fact that I couldn’t watch the award shows. On WAYYYY too late, and we don’t pay for the channel that would carry them. Now, I’m over it and actually happy to be. (Of course, I do watch the BAFTAs – best bit? No ads!!!)

  6. Lisa Golden

    I don’t follow the awards not for any particular reason. Maybe because by the time they’re on,other people in the house control the TV. I’m sure I’ll be able to get some kind of contact high from them via my Twitter feed and Facebook. That’s how I’ve been watching all the presidential debates. TV set to something else, Twitter fired up.

    I’ve heard great things about The Descendants so I’m backing your choices versatile or not.

    Congratulations on your award!

    1. Teri Post author

      I remember when my kids were home and I’d hear that song from “The Simpsons” start every night at 5 pm …. I never could watch that show!

  7. lauramaylene

    I have not yet seen the Descendants, but I love Alexander Payne movies and am hoping to go this weekend if possible. The fact that you love it is encouraging!

  8. Averil Dean

    I can’t bear award shows. My stage fright is so profound I can’t even watch someone else up there!

    I’ll see The Descendants, though, since you say so. I need to get out more.

  9. Teri Post author

    Laura and Averil — you MUST see The Descendants. It’ll be the best 2 hour treat of your week. Better than a giant ice-cream cone covered in Swiss chocolate. I also bought the book, which I can’t wait to read, and there’s a great author interview in the back about how she wrote the story, etc…

  10. erikamarks

    Oh, Teri. The only–and I mean, THE ONLY reason I miss not having a TV is that I can’t watch the awards shows (I have Netflix, I know how slim the pickin’s are on TV currently). My sister and I used to sit on the phone with one another the whole show, bantering, sipping, being awed, being snarky, just having the biggest ball watching the awards shows together. I miss them. And seeing the stills on the Times website or some goofy streaming on E’s website doesn’t cut it. If I could, I’d be right there with you. Soaking up every gratuitous sequin, every enviable updo. Sigh.

    (Which reminds me, I have to get myself together and get to my 7 reveals too…)

      1. Teri Post author

        I hear you, Averil. Also, if I were an anonymous blogger, I might be more “interesting,” but as the real me, I’m a little closer to the vest…

  11. Deb

    Oh gosh, I don’t even know who half the people on the awards shows are. My son is always asking me, you know, that guy from…? Me, with my blank stare.

  12. Bobbi

    I’m way out of touch over here. The award shows are not broadcast on any of my channels and it seems like Cannes is the only game in town. I just read The Descendants, nice book.

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