Your Resident Sports Nut

tennis-2011-australian-open-logoThe Australian Open tennis tournament starts Monday, the first major of 2013.  They’ve been having record heat in Australia.  In 2007, on-court temperatures were measured at 122 degrees Farenheit at one point, and Maria Sharapova said she felt ‘delusional’ during her first round match.  Let’s hope the weather this year isn’t an issue, that this mind-burning heatwave passes, and that the only thing that makes Sharapova feel delusional is a tough match against Serena Williams.

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armstrong_Untitled-1_620x350I hear Lance Armstrong will be doing an interview with Oprah.  And word is that Oprah didn’t hop in her jet and fly to Texas to hear more of Lance’s hemming and hawing about doping.  She’s going there for his big confession.  But here’s the deal:  he doped and he lied.  What more could we possibly want to know?  Plenty.  Or aplenty, though I doubt we’ll get much.  I’d love to say I’m not interested in this interview, but I know I’ll be glued to every second of Lance’s scripted and rehearsed answers.

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Screen-Shot-2013-01-06-at-7.48.23-PM1You might have heard me screaming a lot of F-words during the Redskins game a few days ago.  Surely my neighbors were not impressed.  I was trying to read BILLY LYNN’S LONG HALFTIME WALK, but lacked book-focus, as I was too busy watching RGIII limp around the field while I screamed at his coach to get him out of there.  Watching him get his knee popped late in the 4th quarter sent me off the cliff.  And of course today we hear he’s out for at least 8 months for surgery and recovery.  His 2nd reconstructive knee surgery in 4 years.  The kid is 22 years old.  What a way to start a career.  Coach Mike Shanahan and Redskins management, seriously, what in the hell were you thinking?

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brett-hullThis hockey season is, apparently, not completely lost.  They’ve come to some agreement.  They’re going to play.  I have 2 thoughts:  (1) I feel most of my compassion for the business-owners who depend on the hockey season and not hockey itself, so for them I’m glad it’s “back on.”  But (2) I didn’t miss hockey one bit while they were gone.

Know what I miss?  I miss Wayne Gretzky and Brett Hull, how they made the other players around them look like they were standing still, but that’s a whole other issue.

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si_coverFinally, some good news.  The sportswriters of America have done a fine service to the game of baseball by denying Hall of Fame status to Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds.  Cheaters all.  And I know what you’re thinking, “they’re all doing it.”  To which I say, yes, and fuck that.

No Hall of Fame.  This was, by far, my favorite news of the day.

Thank you, sportswriters of America.  Thank you.

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IMG_0275So …. back to tennis.  Coverage of the Australian Open will start on Monday, and for two weeks it will be on TV everyday starting at 4 a.m.  You can rest assured I’ll be up at 4 a.m., coffee will be brewing, computer on my lap, dogs will be playing, and I’ll get a lot of writing done.  I’m not kidding about the writing.  Do you know how much reading and writing and re-writing you can get done during the boring parts of a long tennis match?

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And you wonder why my dream is to ghost-write a sports memoir ….

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22 thoughts on “Your Resident Sports Nut

  1. Averil Dean

    Oh my god, I was watching the Redskins game too, and I’m still cringing after watching that knee go sideways. I’ll bet it was already a hell of a lot more than a sprain when they sent him out there to start.

    They ought to deal with all injuries the way they have moved to handling head injuries: game readiness should be decided by the medical staff and no one else. Period.

    1. Teri

      Agreed. And I’ve already been screaming all football season (pros and college) with so many helmet-to-helmet collisions, many of which go unpenalized. You should hear the things that come out of my mouth. My poor sainted husband ….

      But seriously, could you EVEN believe they let RGIII play in that game? I was in shock when he took the field.

      1. Averil Dean

        I was too. And almost immediately he was gimping around again. Another time they could have pulled him, before the knee blew completely. Poor kid.

  2. jpon

    The news from the Baseball writers made my day. Finally, integrity in sports. Too bad it had to come from the guys who were never good enough to play.

    But if you really want to get some reading and writing done, watch golf.

    1. Teri Post author

      Rest assured, Joe, I also get a lot done during the 4 golf majors. That said, this year I’m looking forward to Bubba and the youngsters, and can live without Tiger. Every time I hear him call his fellow golfers by nicknames —- Stricks, etc… —- it makes my skin crawl.

  3. macdougalstreetbaby

    I heard about the heat wave in Australia. Apparently they’ve come up with a new shade to the color map, a deep purple, to indicate how hot it has become. That’s some kind of crazy.

  4. Downith

    This is one of the few times I wish we had cable. For the tennis. Roll on Wimbledon – in our time zone and all!

    Enjoy Teri. I’ll be rooting for Murray.

    1. Downith

      Can I change rooting to cheering for. It’s Australia we’re talking about and I remember reading about “rooting” on Averil’s blog.

      I still miss hockey over here. And Gretzky.

      1. Teri

        Murray is my pick, as well. I think this is going to be a big year for him. I also hope Roger does well — how many years does our Roger have left, and he’s such a class act.

        Um, and P.S. I have watched the entire season 3 of Downton Abbey. *swoon* This is my favorite season!!!

  5. Alecia

    Thank you sportswriters for not cheapening the honor of being inducted into the HOF by denying cheaters. Couldn’t agree more.

    1. Teri

      There are 2 things I really love about sports, Alecia: the mental and physical abilities of the players, and playing by the rules. The rules are what make a game a game, right?

      And I know they’re “all doing it” and it’s about the money and the short careers and all that, but what’s the point of sport if rules are not followed by every player.

      Have you seen the ESPN 30 for 30 program on Bo Jackson? What a specimen he was, and so talented, so hard-working. And no drugs.

  6. girl in the hat

    I’m not a sports fan. But I’d love to sit on the couch next to you and hear you swear. You’d watch the game and I’d watch you. That sounds fun in my book, especially if snacks are involved.

    1. Teri

      Anna, I’d love for you to sit with me on the couch as I promise words and phrases that could possibly set your hair on fire. And there are always snacks! I mean, come on…. 😉

  7. Lyra

    Okay, so I am not a sports nut by any stretch of the imagination but every time you write about sports you have me, you know? So what I’m wondering is…what if you were to contact your favorite person and see if they wanted you to write their story? Tell them you could send essays, etc, but really put it out there. What do you have to lose?

  8. LauraMaylene

    I’m not a sports person at all, which is a very good thing now that I live in Cleveland. Your posts about tennis always make me think I should start to watch it, however…

  9. Josephine

    it’s been a rough year. somebody killed our trees. our number 1 rival beat the shit out of us and then went on to win the NCAA national championship. fuckers. (there’s no being a good sport when it comes to the crimson time when you have a t-shirt that reads war-damn-eagle)

    my sport team’s year feels a bit like my own. not that i have a rival, but you get the picture.

    i want to write a boxing story. moreso, i want to read the sports memoir that you co-wrote.

  10. Jennine G.

    I’ve got to upset Broncos fans at my house currently. Mr. Manning’s one or two oopsies did them in. However, I’ve come to realize that I can bear sports when I’m with a group of friends. Dare I say, a football game is fun to watch when surrounded by a group of people I love? And food…gotta have food.

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