tennis-2011-australian-open-logoThe Australian Open tennis tournament starts Monday, the first major of 2013.  They’ve been having record heat in Australia.  In 2007, on-court temperatures were measured at 122 degrees Farenheit at one point, and Maria Sharapova said she felt ‘delusional’ during her first round match.  Let’s hope the weather this year isn’t an issue, that this mind-burning heatwave passes, and that the only thing that makes Sharapova feel delusional is a tough match against Serena Williams.

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armstrong_Untitled-1_620x350I hear Lance Armstrong will be doing an interview with Oprah.  And word is that Oprah didn’t hop in her jet and fly to Texas to hear more of Lance’s hemming and hawing about doping.  She’s going there for his big confession.  But here’s the deal:  he doped and he lied.  What more could we possibly want to know?  Plenty.  Or aplenty, though I doubt we’ll get much.  I’d love to say I’m not interested in this interview, but I know I’ll be glued to every second of Lance’s scripted and rehearsed answers.

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Screen-Shot-2013-01-06-at-7.48.23-PM1You might have heard me screaming a lot of F-words during the Redskins game a few days ago.  Surely my neighbors were not impressed.  I was trying to read BILLY LYNN’S LONG HALFTIME WALK, but lacked book-focus, as I was too busy watching RGIII limp around the field while I screamed at his coach to get him out of there.  Watching him get his knee popped late in the 4th quarter sent me off the cliff.  And of course today we hear he’s out for at least 8 months for surgery and recovery.  His 2nd reconstructive knee surgery in 4 years.  The kid is 22 years old.  What a way to start a career.  Coach Mike Shanahan and Redskins management, seriously, what in the hell were you thinking?

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brett-hullThis hockey season is, apparently, not completely lost.  They’ve come to some agreement.  They’re going to play.  I have 2 thoughts:  (1) I feel most of my compassion for the business-owners who depend on the hockey season and not hockey itself, so for them I’m glad it’s “back on.”  But (2) I didn’t miss hockey one bit while they were gone.

Know what I miss?  I miss Wayne Gretzky and Brett Hull, how they made the other players around them look like they were standing still, but that’s a whole other issue.

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si_coverFinally, some good news.  The sportswriters of America have done a fine service to the game of baseball by denying Hall of Fame status to Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds.  Cheaters all.  And I know what you’re thinking, “they’re all doing it.”  To which I say, yes, and fuck that.

No Hall of Fame.  This was, by far, my favorite news of the day.

Thank you, sportswriters of America.  Thank you.

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IMG_0275So …. back to tennis.  Coverage of the Australian Open will start on Monday, and for two weeks it will be on TV everyday starting at 4 a.m.  You can rest assured I’ll be up at 4 a.m., coffee will be brewing, computer on my lap, dogs will be playing, and I’ll get a lot of writing done.  I’m not kidding about the writing.  Do you know how much reading and writing and re-writing you can get done during the boring parts of a long tennis match?

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And you wonder why my dream is to ghost-write a sports memoir ….

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