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In 2016, there was a gold man who lived in a gold house, and he would Make America Great Again! A man who said, “the beauty of me is that I’m very rich.” A man who vowed to build a wall and make Mexico pay for it. A man who mocked a handicapped man for the cameras and spun-up his crowds with screams to “Lock her up!”

A man who refused to release his tax returns while saying not paying taxes “makes me smart.” A man who insists he’s never read a book and doesn’t need intelligence briefings because he has “a very good brain.”

A man who crowed, “How stupid are the people of Iowa?!” in Iowa.

In 2016, there was a gold man who lived in a gold house, and he would Make America Great Again! A man who owned a university until court records revealed a “fraudulent scheme, and that it preyed upon the elderly and uneducated to separate them from their money.” A man who said he could command his TV show, his companies, and the country at the same time and not waste his weekends in the Oval Office.

A man who compared the sacrifices of running his gold-plated business to those of a Gold Star family whose son got blown to pieces being a hero in Iraq. A man who said, “I know more about ISIS than the generals do,” and “our military is a disaster.”

A man who spent seven long years goading our first black President to show his birth certificate, demanding his papers like he was a runaway slave.*

In 2016, there was a gold man who lived in a gold house, and he would Make America Great Again! A man who did not understand the First Amendment and said about the free press, “With me, they’re not protected, because I’m not like other people” and threatened to sue if they wrote unflattering stories about him.

A man who wrapped himself in the glory of the Second Amendment, suggesting his opponent might get shot, “If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. Although the Second Amendment people, maybe there is. I don’t know.”

A man who wanted to do away with the Fourth Amendment, tweeting “stop-and-frisk works!”

A man who scoffed at the Eighth Amendment, “Look, I think we have to change our law on the waterboarding thing.”

A man who mocked our Fourteenth Amendment, guaranteeing citizenship for those born here, “Mexico and almost every other country anywhere in the world doesn’t have that. We’re the only ones dumb enough, stupid enough to have it.”

In 2016, there was a gold man who lived in a gold house, and he would Make America Great Again! A man who bragged about grabbing women’s pussies, because “when you’re a star you can do anything.” A man who threatened to sue and ruin any woman who dared accuse him of assault. A man who snickered, ”I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there, and she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything.”

And there was a Hollywood TV host who lost his job for this “locker room talk” while the gold man who did most of the talking got the biggest job in the land.

In 2016, there was a gold man who lived in a gold house, and he would Make America Great Again! A man who said in a 1991 interview, “You know, it really doesn’t matter what they write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.” A man who said, in an interview the following year, while ogling a ten year old girl as she rode the escalator. ”I’m going to be dating her in ten years. Can you believe it?”

A man who said to a woman on his TV show, “Must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees.”

In 2016, there was a gold man who lived in a gold house, and he would Make America Great Again! A man who so unrelentingly heckled a young female reporter, his enraged audience turned on her and Secret Service had to escort her to her car. A man who warned an accomplished journalist, “I almost released my beautiful Twitter account against you, and I still might.”

A man who stood on stages and called his opponents Little Marco, Lyin’ Ted, Crooked Hillary, Low Energy Jeb, Crazy Bernie, Goofy Elizabeth Warren, Pocahontas. A man so thin-skinned he lashed out at those who made jokes about him on a TV show, because he’s a man who can dish it out but can’t take it.

In 2016, there was a gold man who lived in a gold house, and he would Make America Great Again!

A man who said, “Believe me,” “I have the most loyal people, where I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters, okay.”

And in that one sentence the people heard everything they wanted to hear about their God (believe!) and their guns (shoot somebody!) and prosperity (5th Avenue!) and winning (wouldn’t lose!).

And the people were loyal.

And they put the gold man in the White House.

* credit to Colson Whitehead.

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