Saying #MeToo isn’t enough. Women have to stop excusing men, too.



Excerpt from my OpEd in today’s Washington Post.  Click here for the article.

Here in rural Kentucky, six months after the election, I sat next to a 30-something woman at a party. A grade-school teacher. She did not like Hillary Clinton and voted, she said, for Trump. Turns out she was on a third date, and she and her new beau had not yet gotten around to politics.

He was as stunned as I was. And when he and I both took our hard stance, when it started to feel like we were ganging up, I began to feel sorry for her — she was, more than anything, uninformed, it seemed — and I decided to leave them to their now-ruined date. Astoundingly, she had not only not heard of the “Access Hollywood” tape, she had no interest in hearing about it. The election was over.

I wish I could say I found this woman’s lack of information shocking. But the truth is, beyond the confines of coastal news and entertainment, much of white, churchgoing middle America accepts both Trump’s “locker room talk” excuse and his wife’s lackadaisical “boys will be boys” defense. Many of the women I meet here — of all ages — do not follow national news, much less national politics. They also tend to follow their pastors’, or their husbands’, talking points: Clinton can’t be trusted, she thinks she’s a man, she should look at her own husband and her own marriage.  I suspect they looked at their own marriages and families, as well. Was Trump any different in his rhetoric from their own husbands, their brothers, their fathers?  Their pastors? What can you do? Men have needs.




5 thoughts on “Saying #MeToo isn’t enough. Women have to stop excusing men, too.

  1. Bernice

    I grew up in rural America and can relate to so much of this article and questioning how can any woman in her right mind support Trump, and even most of the GOP. We seem to be constantly under assault then made to feel like we asked for it. And the powerful people who cover or make excuses, it’s insane. Thank you for covering this topic.

  2. Dwordslayer

    Like the thoughts shared. Women do need to speak up when faced with these sick situations, but the culture of men doing what they want and getting a free pass because they are men seems to be a societal norm that EVERYONE should say no to.

  3. awax1217

    I have two daughters both grown and two granddaughters growing up. To disrespect them or my wife is beyond me. What Weinstein did is not excusable. It should result in jail time. No excuse that he was a sex addict. Yet, there are many in his league who are running around free as birds. Is not Trump a member of that clan? Weiner the sexter in New York surely is? Evil lurks in the hearts of men and aggression is no excuse. The only acceptable proposition is, “Will you marry me.” Mankind takes a step down when he becomes a pimp and expects sex as a ladder for a woman or young lady to gain height in her career.

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